hideandseeksteak

House of Crack Horse isn't dead, he's just sleeping.
this hibernation is the result of Abelard Codmuffin's lengthy visit of relatives on the Dalmatian Coast. we apologise on his behalf for any inconvenience this may cause.

p.s. bears

MONDAY FUNDAY #MISSIONARY

this week, monday funday extends to the whole week in which your mission becomes to:

- say at least one comment that could be seen as being racist, sexist, fauvist, illusionist, marxist.

interpretation of this mission is open to your subconscious.
enjoy.
and don't forget, email us your resulting story.
thank yous.

mother mosquito

When bedtime arrives,
and the last candle snuffed,
there is without failure
a mother mosquito
who
in the sudden swap to darkness
lost her only born son.
devistated, she cries
and calls. cries and calls
cries and cries and cries
wails and moans and cries.
searching the highs
wails and cries
searching the lows
wails and cries
she races to me
and takes my hand
'have you seen my son
have you seen him?!'
she wails and cries
and calls and moans
rushes off before any answer
she has lost her mind
her heart
her will
she wails and cries
until she dies.

MISGUIDED POST #1

To me of the Past

Hi, how are you? I'm you, writing from the future about an important matter that will affect you (us) for the rest of your (our) live(s).

This matter can easily be averted with some careful attention on your part.
I have thought long and hard about how this matter might have been avoided. It took me a while to figure it out but as soon as i did my next step was to work out a way to go back in time. This phase taken me (us) many many years but i feel that it has been worth it to avoide the horrible event that lurks in your future. i am glad to have finally found a way to reach you.

I will now carefully tell you the steps you must go through in order to change out fate:
In a few weeks you will be making yourself a cup of coffee. You'll know which day i mean because you will be using a new mug. As soon as you reach for this mug - STOP! Don't make the coffee.

Thank you for making our future a happier one.
Love forever,
Future You.

MONDAY FUNDAY #EGGY

In the House of CrackHorse we really like eggs. You might recall our egg posters....
SO. I accidentally bought chickens.This means that this weeks monday funday was spent building a hen house. Unfortunately by the time i finish writing this there will be no time left to put pictures up for your viewing pleasure (if adolescent chickens don't make you smile, you're a lost cause!)

oohhh sleepy. mmm.

EDIT-

TWO CHICKENS ARE BETTER THAN ONE:

Recipe for Love #2

HOG HEAD CHEESE

1 lg. hog head

1 1/2 tbsp. salt

Dash of red pepper

Dash of black pepper

1 onion

1 c. vinegar

Clean hog head by removing eyes, ears and brains. Saw into 4 pieces. Put in large pot and boil until tender. Remove meat from broth. Pick out bones and cook onion until done in broth. Dip out onion and run meat and onion through food chopper. Mix in peppers, vinegar and salt, put in cheese cloth, hang, let drip overnight. Slice and enjoy. Refrigerate unused portion.

OTHER S (TTERS)

so we have a really nice idea yeah and we need lots of people with good knee bending skills
so who's up for it? email us up yo.

MONDAY FUNDAY #9

Hi there. Here are some glasses that we made...you might have found some...but probably not the ones that are still sitting on my floor (i'm in the simpson desert remember).


AND here: Deluxe Edition printable spectacles. Simply click, print and follow the instructions.

Okay, that's all from me. I have to go catch some tasty lizard snacks for dinner. I really like snacks. Real snacks, not...like...cup-of-soups. That nasty stuff is eaten by the arrogant and obnoxious and dull-witted people who plaster those ugly Jesus posters everywhere. Awful. No wonder they need religion...haven't found real snacks.

Anyhow, glasses are prejudice free and full of unbiased love. No terms and conditions, regulations, laws, hierarchy, blah blahdy blah. Viva La Sleepingbirds. Amun Ra.

a letter from the simpson desert

dear readers,

stranded in cubby house in desert. kind of liking it. made glasses, you might find them, blown over with the red dust. lost my breath...but there isn't any post where i am.

i love you,
eucaluptus.

the wet patch on my dress

It is that time again, for the second time, to emit poetic works on the 21st day of the month. Utterly delightful.


It is wet
It is a patch
It dosen't dry
in the hot hot sun
Where did you come from
Little wet patch?
Why are you wet?
Why won't you dry?

MONDAY FUNDAY #WALKABOUTS

SO.
after giving the cat a bath we were sitting outside to dry, smelling the beautiful spring air, when we got a whiff of something peculiar.
it was not the cat farting.
it was the smell of needing to leave. (though they could be confused as they are related in certain ways)

anyhow, it was clear that walkabout time had come.
leaving time is 4am tomorrow morning. we'll be back with thickly calloused feet and many stories to tell. but we don't know when we'll be back. it might be a quiet return, it might not. we'll see i guess.

Recipe of Love: for Polly

Got a date with something pretty?

Cook up this beautiful traditional dish. Your hearts will leap, your eyes will softly close, your tastebuds will embrace the wonderment.

Gebackenes Euter (Fried Cow's Udder)

Ingredients (4 servings)

500 g Cow's udder (a generous lb)

1 Egg, beaten

Plain breadcrumbs

100 g Butter (7 Tbsp)

Salt

Pepper

Instructions: In order to remove all traces of milk, put the udder into lukewarm water and let soak for 2 to 4 hours, permitting the water to cool off. Then cook the udder in a 2-percent to 3- percent salt water solution until tender. Remove from the cooking liquid and cut into 1/2-inch thick slices. Let the slices dry a bit. Season on both sides, dip into whisked egg, and then into breadcrumbs. Fry in butter, turning once, until golden brown on both sides. Serve with lettuce.

she thinks she's really hot but everyone just laughs at her behind her back

you know you work too hard when you're picking your nose (at the desk, as a break from typing) and you don't have time to get a tissue so you stick it under the table only to find there are no empty spots left and instead cause an avalanche of gold. and then by the time that happens, break time is over and you just keep working.
good times.

MONDAY FUNDAY #8 (b)

Apologies for the delay. our camera holder found out about his syphilis and has been celebrating his new found freedom instead of working hard for the loveless of the world. thankfully he found enough time to send us these, so that we may keep your little hearts pounding with joy and love.













anyhow, if you would be so kind as to look at past entries to enlighten the porpoise of this journey, because i have to go for a 200km bikeride and if i don't leave now i wont be back in time to let my father into the house after his return from the south of india.

MONDAY FUNDAY #8

Dear George,

On monday night we went for a stroll in town, putting up love for the loveless. I was very distraught to find your eyes torn to shreds, with only your nose attached to the pole with dirty bits of sticky tape. I rescued what I could, but I don't know if you can ever regenerate those swan like necks of yours.

All I can do to console myself is eat indian food. The man at the next table suggested a rose lassi, as it had helped him through his own difficult mourning. I settled for mango, as the pink reminded me of you too much. It was pretty nice actually.

Yours for eternity,
Jessica.

MONDAY FUNDAY #2 (b)

we magically found a way to teleport photographs from cameras to computers. so here is the return of Monday Funday #2: The Return of the Loving Biscuits That were A Little Bit Rude or Kindof Gross But still Really Nice.

(Mr Dough)

(assorted creatures and things)

(progressively older female genitals)

(blue dye is nice)

(camilopartharli)

(love letters)

(the finished product)

(where they went)

The End.

MONDAY FUNDAY #7

cats in a basket wanted to go do groceries. dressed as grandmas.



















but nothing good was on special except strawberries and caramello koalas, so that is all we bought.